best man toast | i think i might be a grown up...

As promised, here is Justin’s fabulous toast from our wedding. As you may recall, it was written as a letter from Brian to Justin about what he should say in his toast… The best part is that right before he stood up to talk, he told Brian and I to “just go along” with whatever he said – that’s when we knew this was going to be good.

[helpful reading tip: the non-italicized part is the letter, the italicized sentences are Justin’s comments]

Justin,

I don’t want to write your speech, but here’s what I think you should say. First of all, try to be gracious and thank everyone for coming.

Mention that Natalie is a beautiful bride. Natalie, you look truly stunning

Obviously, you don’t have to comment on my appearance, because that would be weird, and let’s face it, I always look good! There was an exclamation point at the end of that sentence. Hopefully he was joking . . .

Try to throw in a few good stories, like the time Natalie was the beer pong champ at the McClave’s, or maybe just mention how long Natalie has stuck by my side over the years despite the fact I’m always on the road and that I’ve never had a real job. Natalie, you deserve a medal!

As far as topics not to mention (PAUSE! then look up at Brian and step away) . . .

Don’t refer to the window incident at Davidson. Dad is still mad about that. And no stories about the bachelor party, although if you want to mention how I mentally destroyed Peiffer on the golf course, or how Case had to apologize to everyone, for partying, feel free to do so. Also, for the love of God, whatever you do, don’t mention the time when . . . .

(pause)

Maybe I should skip that part

Anyway, even though you’re really bad at relationships and aren’t even remotely close to getting married, I will remember your speech and will get revenge if necessary. Don’t forget that. Thanks B, I won’t . . .